Oh man, my very first post! I have wanted to start a blog as a creative outlet for years and thanks to the pandemic for extra time at home, it is finally coming together.
Writing and expressing my ideas, thoughts, and emotions does not come easy for me. I’m hoping through the process of writing and sharing, my voice will come to life. For my first post, I’ve decided to write a little bit about why I love Montessori and what I have been learning so far.
I stumbled across Montessori while nursing my first daughter in the middle of the night when she was around 6 months old (Pinterest at 3 am anyone?) and I quickly became interested in this intentional parenting approach and the simple, natural way of life and raising kiddos. The first book I purchased was The Montessori Toddler – A parent’s guide to raising a curious and responsible human being, by Simone Davies and I can’t recommend it enough! Not only did it briefly break down the history of Montessori, but it also gives practical advice on how to prepare your home the Montessori way and covered a respectful parenting approach that really resonated with me.
Here are my top 10 takeaways from the book that got me started with implementing the Montessori approach:
- See through the child’s eyes – everything from seeing the value in their emotions, to the way they receive our words and instruction, how they are able to interact and have a sense of belonging in the home.
- Follow the child – Observe them and with the information you gather, you can provide opportunities to follow their interests.
- Prepared environment: toddlers are enormously capable and allowing them the freedom to fully engage, explore and learn safely in their environment brings them such satisfaction and joy and cultivates a natural desire to learn.
- Include them in daily life: toddlers love working along side caregivers as it gives them purpose and they are learning to contribute and be apart of the family. I have learned that allowing more time, setting things up for success and lowering my expectations of the outcome can not only allow for sweet moments and learning experiences around the home, but cultivates the parent/child relationship in a really special way. Who doesn’t want a cute little helper folding clothes and also trying on all the undies? 😉
- Fostering independence: the child learns about caring for themselves, others and their environment. Providing concrete learning experiences to help them make discoveries for themselves. One of my favorite quotes from Maria Montessori talking about the inner needs of children is “Help me to do it by myself.” I have found it to be true, there’s nothing Emery loves more than to do something all by herself!
- Use alternatives to bribes, rewards, and punishments – move from extrinsic motivators to promoting internal motivation to learn and solve problems.
- Parent as their guide – toddlers need limits and the Montessori approach is neither permissive or controlling, it teaches parents to be calm leaders for their children. Think: respectfully assertive when needed. Not their boss, not their servant. Teaching them to do the right thing rather than focusing on mistakes. For example, if you break or spill something, clean it up.
- Order and Consistency – toddlers thrive on order and consistency. It helps them understand and make sense of their world and know what to expect. Toys and activities are more inviting when presented in a way that they can see them and have a specific place to be stored. They can become easily overwhelmed with an over abundance of toys (toy rotation is key!), leading to shorter engagement and reduced attention span.
- Slow down – Allow toddlers to explore life at their pace, time for movement, conversation, gaining cooperation. Example: Toddlers need time to process what we are saying. Instead of repeating myself several times to put on shoes, I say it once and allow time for her to process what I said. Usually after 7-10 seconds she will start to respond.
- Respect the child – talking and listening to them in the same way you would an adult. Learning to respond rather than react. Offering grace, courtesy, and compassion. Accepting the child for who they uniquely are, without judgement and remaining connected to the child regardless of circumstance (i.e. even when not allowing something), builds a strong caregiver/child relationship.
I feel that overall, I have become a more effective, peaceful parent. I definitely don’t have it all figured out, but my goal is to always keep learning and growing, for myself, for my babies, and our family. Montessori’s holistic approach has brought more calm into our home and I am forever grateful.
No matter what your background, where you’re from, where you live, I think there are aspects of Montessori child rearing that can benefit everyone! For us, it gives us a solid foundation and direction for raising up these cute babes!
Oh and just remember – it’s not about the perfect materials, the perfect play space or trying to do alllll the things. It is about enjoying being with our kiddos, supporting them as they grow and cherishing the journey. There are no perfect parents, no perfect kids; we are all just doing our best and learning as we go!
Love,
Mama M
Additional resources I’ve loved:
How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King
How to raise an amazing child the Montessori way by Tim Seldin
Hello! Welcome to my blog, Mama McClintock. I am a nurse turned stay-at-home mama and this is all about our Montessori-ish inspired home, simple, healthy living and life raising our two girls.
